And stay-at-home dads are from a plant in a galaxy far, far away…
NOTE: I’ve switched back to the standard font. It was too much of a pain in the arse with the other one. If you can’t read it, get some glasses!
Being a stay-at-home dad (SAHD) has provided me a unique opportunity to study and annotate the differences between how my wife and I parent and how we conduct our lives in general. Here’s the product of my empirical research. I made a list, really for my kids when they get older, but let me know if it’s the same way in your crib. We may not always share the same technique but the goal is absolute: to raise happy children who eventually become happy adults.
Here goes:
Mommy researches
Daddy recites the research that Mommy conducts
Mommy works
Daddy gets worked like a rented mule
Mommy cooks
Daddy grills
Mommy freaks out when someone gets hurt
Daddy says to rub some dirt on it
Mommy drinks wine
Daddy drinks whatever he can get his shakey hands on (sterno if necessary)
Mommy’s rules apply
Daddy’s rules are rejected like a conservative bill trying to make its way through Congress
Mommy can’t figure out how to work the remote control
Daddy uses the remote like an extra apendage
Mommy screams and shouts
Daddy gives “the look”
Mommy is loved
Daddy is considered “the help”
Mommy wants to protect you
Daddy wants to teach you how to protect yourself
Mommy engages the question “why?” and does her best to answer it
Daddy pretends not to hear the question that’s asked of him no less than 1,000 times per day
Mommy takes five hours to get out of the house
Daddy take five minutes
Mommy reads books on modern parenting methods
Daddy takes a trial-and-error approach
Mommy buys organic food
Daddy feeds you the organic food Mommy buys because he has no other choice
Mommy carries five diaper bags
Daddy carries what fits into his pockets
Mommy wants you to learn
Daddy wants to teach you
Mommy is bossy
Daddy is diplomatic
Mommy watches Court TV
Daddy has the dog test his morning breakfast
Mommy loves online shopping
Daddy loves onlines adult entertainment that is sophisticated and tasteful
Mommy buys toys for the kids
Daddy assembles (and plays with) them
Mommy loves you
Daddy loves you more :)
